?"(not intended as sound professional medical legal rock n' roll advice)"?
aim/objective: bad sounding nice music
Current Status of my*Guitar*Practice: fract2hVid/CmptrGms,m-f,smmr
Projected Change in Status:Sep/Oct,4hrAlbsLstn,PossAltDays,OptmsM-f
Projected *Guitar*Practice Status: poss2yr,fall2027;space to re-work
... guessin' what they say about the brain routing early on may make
... ones of us later on less likely to retain and practice more essential
... that much more difficult, wonderin', if may draw more attention
... therefore, even more, privacy for practice, difficult ... question I have
Unsure if there've been attempts at communication asking for the
... um ... simplified form of all this relating jumble ...
I don't perform or nothin', unsure how much of what I've come by
... as a practice of the instrument itself, could aide ones curious
Plus, as far as organized & concise, for what I do have in this stuff
... it's more like a life's work (Eng Lang), 'a' not 'the'
... gradual process over years before it may be more accessible
... just doin' my own thing with it, not as 'work' work
... placed here in case anyone may want to manage siftin' thru
... again, writing, as I do, for myself,
... you are welcomed to peruse if you choose,
... I ain't workin' at it for you though, it may eventually look
... more & more like that, but, as a by-product, not primary intent
CONTENTS
- relating log ... for now, tou addition later, 'relating', as 'sharing'?
- timeline ... um ... attempting^* to convey how it is for me?
- why do I want to play/practice guitar? ... and how?
- an N20 process, notes
- log rework
- Timeline expand, process
- relating page
- page rework ... sub/unconscious motives?
- (projected page re-rework)
RELATING LOG
2025.10.08w_prcssOfArrvng@'Rlgn'*(+/-?)
2025.07.30w_droppedLstnPrjct4Smmr,Tryn2KeepCatsCoolr;frct=VdGms
2025.07.11f_pickin'upSome,N20mostlyOut;LstnSd'sPoss4x4hrThisWeek
2025.06.25w_UltraLt;<25%;maybe1x4hrLstnWk;1N20LstWk.;AmzgPdSrvc
2025.06.16m_*vctn:RwrkMissinLghtCue;AftrHrsVStrss;HasToMngLghtTho'
2025.06.11w_dwnW/wthr*;1Eat,2Sleep/Rest,3Xcs&4Bathe;Cats;chill/film*
2025.05.26m_a/cQ:anxtyXfocusSktchy..tlpthcWordChoice.CrrltEndFreeMo
2025.05.19m_bgnHmmrn@noteAboutWhtHasGoneN2albsPrvwSbPrjctFun
2025.05.15r_CnfdncShknYrsOut;DffcltWhn,DffntWhnOut&tryOddPkgUp
2025.04.29t_ideas&insprttnsWmscSrvc;unsrHw'llsrfcOnceHndsOn;;;tmJggl
2025.04.09w_'slf'dftng'thghts';;prctLkXcsAftrAttck^^plan;;SkmScnAlbsPrcss
2025.03.26w_boughtShlvs=^clttr;imgng1-2yrsSpcRcvry;;SprngNghtsLag
2025.03.13r_bgnShlvgSrchW/frctnOddDys4h=fnd!NtPrfc,KdaPrcy,Fnshd.
2025.02.28f_'creativeProcess'Spooky?;resourceRefOn?C.P.?Vs.'formula'?
2025.02.07f_crdiac&TmVSpcRcvr.CmprFeel..SpineFlx>rPract*(*drctn.P)
2025.01.27m_4hrAltDysShiftnInWell=IntrmdtShft(NtPrct)Movies&Film4Nw
2025.01.13m_lottaBaildOutOthrRm;CmprNcrB4;^Clttr^Tm2rcvrSpace,Slow
2024.12.30m_smDys^bleak;shftFmDblFeatrsSlw/Steady,TVprgrmgNiceFor
2024.12.15w_"no one said it was gon' b easy"?59years old'bout1.5mo ago
2024.12.12r_aimin'1/4tm(alt4hDays);stillNot@yet,blckn'PrjctTmOffW/film
2024.12.04w_2eaAlt6&8lastwk;2d6whnHppnsAltPadTmlineThghts,nHere
2024.11.26t_asTho'AmpdTrspssHrssOnceOnBttr=tryin'toJgglTmODayStress
2024.11.12t_Barely4hPrjctAltxcsDays;N20Mostly5d/wk;alt20sPoss1ea/wk
TIMELINE
1965 - born November, scorpio; small town, Texas (birth crtfct)
1966
1967 - told'bout,guessng,xmas?,Norfolk,VA(vfdAltSrc:summer)
1968 - late summer to Charleston, S.C., Greyhound bus (am told)
1969 - early summer back to Texas (mom there, both returned)
1970 - yrQ:first back Tx recall near Ft Phantom; Hamby rural, TX
1971 ^?NBCcartoons(Rgtm,Clsscl,40's,NsryRhym,clypso)
1972 - (kindergarten ends spring '72)
1973 - may've began church around here (as a family routine)
1974 - (2nd grade, elementary school, ends spring of '74)
1975 - first season SNL
1976 - (approx) wooden blocks, triangles, some music day, school
1977 - did I call local radio station, summer '77, song request
1978 - (last6th;bgn7grd) carried ATF w/move outta town (top40)
1979 ^ yr'78-AMtransistor&machine oil smell of cassette recorder
1980 - 9th, high school, fall; sunday paper LP 8-tracks by mail ad
1981 - fall, first term sophomore, first stadium show seen*
1982 - 1tHalf11tGrade,fall'82;whr'sLine:Dsclsr|Cnfdlty;CsXcs,Nms?
1983 - unsureWhn8trksBecameCsstt;insertAtFrstBeforCssttDck
1984 - spring graduated high school; fall&nxtSpringF/TWork
1985 - Partyin'SummerMostly;firstSemesterJuniorCollege-Fall
1986 - back from Basic Training & AIT; brother is pickin' up guitar
1987 - terminal leave ETS by Christmas
1988 - nearbyDailyGtrPracticeForFrstTm,CmprShared;EZDaysSprg
1989 - California Summer, full time days*, p/t evenings, *'til fall
1990 - breakdown* occurring, brought back Texas end summer
1991 - approx, begins 20m, How to Play Guitar, for self alone
1992
1993
1994 - built to 2h/d by college re-entry, summer, kept practice
1995
1996 - duressSinceCollegeRe-entry(smmr'94);degree(B.A.)Dec.'96
1997
1998 - didn't realize how well ear on Folk, Classical & Blues books
1999 - summer trip on Greyhound to NY, woodstock* wknd
2000
2001
2002 - moved to Oklahoma ... (see note/next at 2003)
2003 - found (retrospect, I guess, than then/there) music flavor area
2004 - move to ComancheCounty,TX*(*feelsLikeHome;But*anchorQ)
2005
2006
2007
2008
2009
2010
2011
2012
2013
2014
2015
2016
2017 - 2k4hrPrcssIdeaClmntdYrsUpTo2018attck;'laborIntnsv'fit
2018 - HeartAttackMay31st:lull,thn:StrssMgmt,Focus,SleepEffcy
2019 - QYrEncycArtcl.:14c.Pope&intxctdEarSeculrMsc
2020
2021
2022
2023
2024
2025 - SpaceRcvryBkSeat2CardiacLooknLike,BposNoRelPref
timeline last revised: Tuesday, Aug 19, 2025
timeline created: Thursday, Sept 5, 2024
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WHY DO I WANT TO PLAY/PRACTICE GUITAR?
(all caps not intended as yelling, Section Heading kinda thing)
well, I cheated sorta, I looked up reasons other people say
... 'pendin' where you're comin' from ... weeks/months ago
... didn't look back at it ... still, may effect(?) affect, ain't it
-- music's a recurring theme in a lifetime?
-- after the CA trip breakdown it found soothing pastime
-- the meditative side (more to it, tedious, telepathic)
... made like seed to wanting to create ...
... well, I say the practice was the seed, maybe it was
... ... more like one of the other ingredients ...
you plant the seed in dirt, you water it ... warmth, sunlight ...
... if the listening to that point was the seed?
... then, ... idunno ...
some music I've listened to is especially inspiring
... to want to try and create music by my own hand
... not so much 'music' per se, though, as ... art
... art in music like form ...
I'd cite references but I don't know where's fair at that.
... unsure if I could even jot down sources
... some of where what I've accessed has been found
((unsure if've crossed line too far already
... some albums ... a concert specifically, film of
... some albums I have copies of, though, recently
... have a side/sub project for the music
... to listen to albums on a music service on internet
... have found some really nice ideas, full length some))
I wasn't exactly brought up to search and find what
... ... to find what I'm into
((to search and explore music styles and genres
... for listening, for practicing, for observing ... ))
I found jogging, at a time in life was a high
... guitar practice is one in it's way too
... it's fun ... I find it fun, overall
not alot of time budgeted to try and write just now
... gotta go ...
((wonderin' if 110 years may be too lite
... they say 120's the span for humans
saw over 130 noted as highest for one
... I guess the bible may talk hundreds, unsure
has the species as a collective opted to not value
... wonderin' if dietary, activity & pursuit ... 250-300? ))
2025.02.10m_1058a...
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AN N20 PROCESS, NOTES
confidentiality maybe on where some of idea is from
... long story short idea that derived from it:
<try to touch the openings of everything>, basically (N20*)
*to begin with the 20m worked well to like learn a tune
after out for years, the review is sorely(?) needed too
breakin' the 20m into nickels (5m shots)
... other place the idea comes from is the beginning book
the 20m was standard, the, unsure if implied was
... what all needs to be done with time to explore styles
What I arrived at, some of it ... planting a seed in 4th nckl
... on wednesdays ... week 2 it germinates and splits to t/r
... once the new seed arrives at all of 3' & 4' m-f solid
... new seed gets w4'
... 1'&2' are for maint, some singles, some dueces, tres, a 4
... eventually, say 2'onW, alts weeks w/two ideas
Kind of a game to play.
2025.04.09w
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LOG REWORK
2025.10.08w_prcssOfArrvng@'Rlgn'*(+/-?)
I didn't pick up well enough in the beginnings of my own practice ...
... not well enough to realize more fully that exploring genres/styles
... is important ... finding oneself within it, in ways, I guess, side of self
The beginning book & the few(?) ... well, basically only three styles
... to start with ... noted in other place(s) ... folk, classical, blues ...
I suppose* part of the reason for the limitation was lack of listening
... that could be read different ... lack of listening to more types of music
The place I was at, musically, as a wondering if I wanna be a musician ...
... I hadn't even found the question of, well, what do you like to listen to
... guess I've wrote that, still ... then those three begin to try and explore
... to go into the things that I do enjoy listening to, did, time in life ...
... and begins to see that some of what I listen(ed) to wasn't as much fun
... not as much fun to practice as others ... already noted ... okay ...
... still, once it gets there ... still tryin' to explore other genres too ...
... (why 4 hours per day works really well, saw reference to it in a film
... prob'ly already said that too ... it was a bio of some notable musicians
... how real life based stories have a sort of credibility about 'em
... unsure if was for real true, 4 hours per day ... the time to have time
... and ... to be able to go slow at it, lots of variety ... process for writing ... )
The was a certain number of band sounds, specific bands, that rose ...
... rose to the top of the list of ones that were the most fun to practice ...
... to practice the sounds of ... (a small handful, small) ... outside of that
... within the genre of preference ... there are maybe what would ...
... what would round out say a large two handfuls of band sounds total ...
... that would be like ... well, sorta like, though inverted ... major & minor
Problem becomes ... not knowin' how or not ethical* it is to practice them
... you expect, most anything that's serious sound you'd want to practice
... at least genre-wise ... is likely published in leading magazine as transcript
... eases mind some ... though ... flack ... ... agenda? ...
... not much of any formally trained, is kinda the thing, the 'religion' thing
... you don't know if it may sound too cool, I guess is some of it
... but ... I don't, as best am aware, understand pullin' punches
... when it comes to tryin' to make something serious ...
You hear it in lots ... unsure if most, I don't know music listening well enuff
... still to know if most* anyone you listen to is drawing from influence ...
... from inspiration of other sounds ...
I still don't know if it is or isn't ethical ... I don't know if the number is bad
... that is the *major number ... ... I don't know how many people will
... will never feel what that feels like ... what it feels like to ...
... to have those sounds in your own hands ... ... then, further ...
... to feel what it is like to go through the process of arriving at other sounds
... that's that are in the neighborhood of the ones that are the funnest ...
The best words I have for it for now, for the time bein' ...
... I don't know what 'love' means in all it's ways ... the practice takes on a life.
... a life of it's own, of a sort ... it breaths ... it lives ... ? ... ain't that classic?
'from the hip', 'off the cuff' ... 2025.10.08w_1646p...
(unproofed/unedited, clarity, word choice)
2025.07.30w_droppedLstnPrjct4Smmr,Tryn2KeepCatsCoolr;frct=VdGms
...too big an added stress load extra tendin', prjct time just blocked
... finally sorted out the computer chess better, I was buttin' it or
... diffclt to say, since the physcal trespss of place is still heavy
... hopefully I will Never adapt to it, private property, period. the norm?
... (and that's the trespss side of it, that itself is systematic, then...+)
... lookin' forward to fall & coolr weather, as far as nearer prjct time
... nice dryin' out heat summer comin' in, as that goes, feels good
... (well, as either acclimated, sort of, past; or, the brief takes
... ... after indoors well enough body cools inside, the qk breaks are
... ... well ... anyway)
... mostly just computer cards & things, not even up to casino style yet
.*** Computer Chess *** Chess Strategy ***
... whoa, no wonder I got so much worse at chess all of a sudden
... I have finally, less that 3 months away from 60 years old ...
... found out that Chess is not, aside from fancy moves, Checkers
... how I came up, I was good at taking the opponents out ...
... at the time ... (family, younger brothers mostly) ... I learned
... some of the most rudimentary chess Strategy along the way
... the most elemental ... that is, maintain center board ...
... ... what else is involved in the Strategy for Beginning isn't ...
... isn't too involved, but, it does make a huge difference ... ...
... a huge difference when basically all you've known is Checkers
... that is, Checkers Strategy ... ... I'm sure I won't, in the time, now
... deliver the effect of what the shift is like to someone that ...
... someone that had not had it both ways ... distinctly both ways
... .... I don't know if my sayin' anything about it may be detrimental
... equations ... dynamics of situations ... motives ... ...
... if you've played it just to eliminate the opponent ... essentially ...
... 'til they have nothing that can prevent check mate ...
... ... try doin' a quick search for basic ideas involved in "Chess Strategy"
... basic Chess Strategy Techniques ... something like that ...
... there are not many more than half a dozen, if that
... would likely help if you have ready access to a computer chess game
... one that's probably designed to train you ... ...
... once you are aware of the Strategy Techniques ... you'll better see
... better see 'em in motion in the Computer Trainer ... that too ...
... was frustrating for me ... I needed to see that it was even telling me
... in it's own computer training type way, that I was using Checkers Strat
... I'm still just gettin' started at learnin' the Basics myself
... it/they does/do make it a lot better game to play ...
... ... true, you do get those comments in life, as well, about ...
... 'thinking person's game' ... 'five moves ahead' ... that stuff
... once you get the Strategy Techniques, you will better see where
... ... where those kinds of 'instructions' fit
The 7/30, above, that started this, was added to on 8/25
... unsure exactly how many weeks ... hold on a minute ...
... I did the internet search and began finding some on strategy
... ... that happens, according to dated pix of search results
... ... on 8/21 ... am guessing to begin to have AlbLstn sketchy
... ... beginning with a day, maybe two, unsure if three from 9/6m
... what I'm jottin' for now though is about Level 3 ...
... unsure how the computer chess I have quick access to may differ
... haven't tried any online sites ... ... ... last week, closing the week
... I'd graduated myself, by then, to Level 3 ... ...
... ... that is, I took the strategies, rough shot at 'em, and started over
... ... went back to Level 1 2D White, graduated self as each stage
... ... of each Level felt comfortable ... L12Dwht, L13Dwht, L12Dblk...
... ... thru L23Dblk ... I was beginning to mess with L32Dwht, as sayin'
... I was frustrated closing Friday (9/5) ... with it ... it was as though
... ... as though, it had unleashed the fury of possible scenarios hell
... ... ... on me ... the effect of it, in my mind, was as though it had
... ... taken and said third strike/level and you are out ... rag doll ...
... ... "wallop" (had to look up spelling just now) ...
... ... then ... I come back in on Monday 9/8, today ... ...
... (maybe I shouldn't tell, I bought a book over the wknd, effect?)
... it was as though (above line as poss exception) the wknd away
... ... as though it may've cleared my mind after a week at it, last wk
... ... I come in today, and, it's as though I arrive at some sort of
... ... like an epiphany or something with it ... (oh, man, another ...
... ... ... another maybe shouldn't tell, I watched concerts over wknd)
... ... I arrived at a place in my mind, as though this happned, the arrive
... ... where my perspective shifted and I could see the light ... ...
... ... well ... it's as though, Level 3 is merely not a subtle shift
... ... not a subtle shift in complexity of competition
... ... and, the Perspective Shift (diff shift, context) allowed me to see
... ... as though it did this, to see that with this Level, on this task
... ... (as not necessarily intended to be generalized to other situations,
... ... my note to self there on generalize/not) ... ...
... ... with Level 3, with my lack of background, I guess ...
... ... the Degree of Complexity of what the Program dishes out
... ... the shift in the Degree from L2D3blk to L3D2wht is so drastic
... ... as to make it seem like ... ... at first ... ... that there is no way ...
... ... but ... with the wknd away, the book (hard copy not digital, though...)
... ... the concerts possibly (an entire other topic by itself, man, ouch)
... ... ... Monday, today, I pick it back up, stay at it, persist ... I thought
... ... ... give it another try anyway, after Friday's beatin' I felt I took
... ... ... first game was like nothin', basically ... the others not too bad
... ... ... I've started playin' 'tantrum' instead of 'undo' ... walk away
... ... ... I don't know if I did 50% today .. compared to Friday that'd be ...
... ... ... it was that much better than Friday and looks like ...
... ... like stayin' at it ... what it throws out, gradually, just playin' at it
... ... gradually, begins to register in the mind and to anticipate
... ... incrementally ... (coffee table in the night analogy) ... and catch on
... ... ... ... 9/8m 1539p...
Now, not quite a month later, not much consistent past level 2
... funny thought* happens this week ... it's as a pattern emerged ...
... as though there was beginning to be all too often this blind spot
... I was losin' the same playin' piece at what might be mid to end game
... then, from that ... (funny thought) ... there are at times other blinds
... at this juncture, I still haven't, I guess, well enough re-routed brain
... different sort of patience, I wonder ... ... well, the funny thing is/was
... other blind spots and an idea of what if those lapses of attention
... lapses not catchin' when the move is terrible, silly terrible and like
... uh ... what if they unconsciously (unaware*) represented* ... that is
... were symbolic* of a mental issue of some sort ... ... then ...
... maybe funnier ... what if you found the therapist you were at ease w/
... maybe the blockages are more unaware earlier on ... idunno ...
... what if you had someone you felt really good to work with
... to help find the blocks and work through them ... supposing are blocks
... what potential difference, in a lifetime? 2025.10.03f_1706p...
2025.07.11f_pickin'upSome,N20mostlyOut;LstnSd'sPoss4x4hrThisWeek
... imaginings of what it would be like to have both time & words ...
... to try and express what it's like to have the kind of access to music
... to the sounds, full length albums, range of genre's & eras ...
... it's the proverbial 'kid in the candy store' ... maybe I exagerate ...
... to say 'it is' ... maybe it would be buffered better to say, as though
... maybe the feeling in the moment was a denial of some sort ...
... anyway ... maybe it's already a ramble, compared to what it would be
... feels like another world, another universe ... ... ...
... relative terms, and analogy that likely exagerates ... starvation & then
... I had access to a few things for music, but ... in comparison ...
... quality-wise, for what I listen for may could be an arguing point, still
... finally realizing the volumn, the bulk, ... curious, once at practice again
... what does it have the potential for bringing out ... ... ...
... latent sexual tendencies compared to latent music tendencies ... and
... as the *thought has had it ... where's the direction, by g_(?) of flow
... sublimation? ...
2025.06.25w_UltraLt;<25%;maybe1x4hrLstnWk;1N20LstWk.;...AmzgPdSrvc
2025.06.16m_*vctn:RwrkMissinLghtCue;AftrHrsVStrss;HasToMngLghtTho'
...as tho' an 'alert' of some sort to have to problem solve back into schdl
...simulated ... once knocked out of pattern/routine takes relearn ltCue
... builds until the wipe out to restructure of time blocks, once cue hit
... has to relearn and reposition to work around the light cue again
... weak that way, seven some odd years into the the re-route (cardiac)
2025.06.11w_dwnW/wthr*;1Eat,2Sleep/Rest,3Xcs&4Bathe;Cats;chill/film*
...?"life's a race, first one to finish's a winner"?...gets knocked out @ times
... intended point was, takes kinda rollin' with it sometimes, comin' back @
2025.05.26m_a/cQ:anxtyXfocusSktchy..tlpthcWordChoice.CrrltEndFreeMo
2025.05.19m_bgnHmmrn@noteAboutWhtHasGoneN2albsPrvwSbPrjctFun
2025.05.15r_CnfdncShknYrsOut;DffcltWhn,DffntWhnOut&tryOddPkgUp
...the"Praecox"(?)whnPrctcMakesSlowGoin'*Still,t'goin'engndrsAtype'f
...cnfdncW/intrmtItslf.*aDmnsnStrss;&wndr'fAdd2itNotKnwnSpcfc2slf+/-
2025.04.29t_ideas&insprttnsWmscSrvc;unsrHw'llsrfcOnceHndsOn;;;tmJggl
2025.04.09w_'slf'dftng'thghts';;prctLkXcsAftrAttck^^plan;;SkmScnAlbsPrcss
2025.03.26w_boughtShlvs=^clttr;imgng1-2yrsSpcRcvry;;SprngNghtsLag
2025.03.13r_bgnShlvgSrchW/frctnOddDys4h=fnd!NtPrfc,KdaPrcy,Fnshd.
2025.02.28f_'creativeProcess'Spooky?;resourceRefOn??C.P.?Vs.'formula'
2025.02.07f_crdiac&TmVSpcRcvr.CmprFeel..SpineFlx>rPract*(*drctn.P)
2025.01.27m_4hrAltDysShiftnInWell=IntrmdtShft(NtPrct)Movies&Film4Nw
2025.01.13m_lottaBaildOutOthrRm;CmprNcrB4;^Clttr^Tm2rcvrSpace,Slow
2024.12.30m_smDys^bleak;shftFmDblFeatrsSlw/Steady,TVprgrmgNiceFor
2024.12.15w_"no one said it was gon' b easy"?59years old'bout1.5mo ago
2024.12.12r_aimin'1/4tm(alt4hDays);stillNot@yet,blckn'PrjctTmOffW/film
2024.12.04w_2eaAlt6&8lastwk;2d6whnHppnsAltPadTmlineThghts,nHere
2024.11.26t_asTho'AmpdTrspssHrssOnceOnBttr=tryin'toJgglTmODayStress
2024.11.12t_Barely4hPrjctAltxcsDays;N20Mostly5d/wk;alt20sPoss1ea/wk
TIMELINE expand, process
1965 - born November, scorpio; small town, Texas (birth crtfct)
1966
1967 - told'bout,guessng,xmas,Norfolk,VA(vfdAltSrc:summer)
1968 - late summer to Charleston, S.C., Greyhound bus (am told)
1969 - early summer back to Texas (mom there, both returned)
1970 - first place I recall was near Ft Phantom; Hamby rural, TX
... this was where we began comin' by the marbles
... also, dad had a service station in town, my first pocket knife
1971 ^?NBCcartoons(Rgtm,Clsscl,40's,NsryRhym,clypso)
1972 - (kindergarten ends spring '72)
... mostly all I recall of kindergarten was naps
... moslty ... I'm sure we must've had story time
... I don't exactly recall milk & cookies, but ...
-- fall of '72, then, woulda been 1st half first grade
... I may likely have been the only white dude that partial year
... learned to count to 20 in spanish ... can't speak a lick of it
... I don't think in spanish ... have found that conversation is fast
... too fast for subtle pronunciations of vocabulary
... too fast, especially for lots of unfamiliar conjugations (verbs)
... well, that's after 4 semesters of required 2nd lang B.A.
1973 - may've began church around here (as a family routine)
... monotone church hymns, there was no melody instruction
... first routine church I recall was in small town
... baptist, they were takin' us to ... drowzy, main surmons, self
... maybe I just wasn't into 'em ... maybe why some churches
... are ... maybe more call & response?
-- before the church recall though, 2nd half of first grade
... small town (the K & 1, first half) were in town w/AFB
... & 3 or 4 universities
-- I peed my pants in school once, mom brought clothing
... difficulty either not knowing how or embarassed to ask
... you know, unfamiliar situation, learning experience
-- the school bus was another thing ... um ... crusty
... some of us were brought up eating food & found ...
... here ... the praecox, whatever ... all too familiar
... no kind of had that vocabulary then and now
... you'd have to be wary about ignorance & attribution
1974 - (2nd grade, elementary school, ends spring of '74)
... got paddled for talking too much in 2nd grade,
... out to the hallway, wrong situation I guess
... I don't see myself as one of the more talkative people
... maybe that's why though
... maybe I was tryin' to loosin' up, wrong place for it ...
... specific time & place ... wasn't the playground like
1975 - first season SNL
... we were catchin' these first go 'round
... prime time saturdays regional was a variety show
... called Hee Haw ... came on after Lawrence Welk
... I don't remember when Wild Kingdom was on
... we'd be at some cousins' house, parents marbles
... & cards, dominoes ... (the marble game was home spun)
... dinner/supper & usually 'til after SNL
-- School was split again this school year, 3rd grade started
... not exactly 'country' school, not like one room church
... ... that was fall '74, then, spring '75 was back to town
... eventually cable TV, basic ...
... there was more to third grade, unsure how much ...
... ... to disclose ... red, yellow, black & white ...
... comparatively ... mostly ... not entirely ... mostly
... there are ... well ... three bigger stories, but, people
-- fall this year would've began 4th grade beginning
... my fourth grade year I had a book given to me
... I don't know when the read-a-thons started, what yr
... I don't recall exactly when my first public library card
... 'round about this time in life though ...
... I didn't very well know how to better explore w/card
... I focused on a certain series of mystery like books
[what's that (all this) got to do w/music? ... precisely
... and as I may can lead you to imagine, makes it difficult]
1976 - (approx) wooden blocks, triangles, some music day, school
1977 - did I call local radio station, summer '77, song request
1978 - (last6th;bgn7grd) carried ATF w/move outta town (top40)
gma/gpa's w/45s
1979 ^ yr'78-AMtransistor&machine oil smell of cassette recorder
mom's piano bench, record player & albs
1980 - 9th, high school, fall; sunday paper LP 8-tracks by mail ad
... the catalogs for these tapes were a jump
1981 - fall, first term sophomore, first stadium show seen
^start I didn't realize I was getting, though lag* goin' in
1982 - 1tHalf11tGrade,fall'82;whr'sLine:Dsclsr|Cnfdlty;CsXcs,Nms?
1983 - unsureWhn8trksBecameCsstt;insertAtFrstBeforCssttDck
1984 - spring graduated high school; fall&nxtSpringF/TWork
1985 - Partyin'SummerMostly;firstSemesterJuniorCollege-Fall
1986 - back from Basic Training & AIT; brother is pickin' up guitar
1987 - terminal leave ETS by Christmas
1988 - nearbyDailyGtrPracticeForFrstTm,CmprShared;EZDaysSprg
1989 - California Summer, full time days*, p/t evenings, *'til fall
1990 - breakdown* occurring, brought back Texas end summer
1991 - approx, begins 20m, How to Play Guitar, for self alone
1992
1993
1994 - built to 2h/d by college re-entry, summer, kept practice
1995
1996 - duressSinceCollegeRe-entry(smmr'94);degree(B.A.)Dec.'96
1997
1998 - didn't realize how well ear on Folk, Classical & Blues books
1999 - summer trip on Greyhound to NY, woodstock* wknd
2000
2001
2002 - moved to Oklahoma ... (see note/next at 2003)
2003 - found (retrospect, I guess, than then/there) music flavor area
2004 - move to ComancheCounty,TX*(*feelsLikeHome;But*anchorQ)
... that is, I guess it's as home as it can feel, given the situation
... I don't know if I may could've felt better at home other places
... if the anchor hadn't been kept severed as it has, as bound and bound
... bound to the feeling of Texas, bound to house & place mental
... who do ya tell without it asking 'fix it' ... attempt at relating is all.
2005
2006
2007
2008
2009
2010
2011
2012
2013
2014
2015
2016
2017 - 2k4hrPrcssIdeaClmntdYrsUpTo2018attck;'laborIntnsv'fit
2018 - HeartAttackMay31st:lull,thn:StrssMgmt,Focus,SleepEffcy
2019 - QYrEncycArtcl.:14c.Pope&intxctdEarSeculrMsc
2020
2021
2022
2023
2024
2025 - SpaceRcvryBkSeat2CardiacLooknLike,BposNoRelPref
timeline re-do last revised: Tuesday, Sep 2, 2025
timeline re-do created: Friday, Jul 11, 2025
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RELATING PAGE (rearranged page, this section shuffled to last of)
[content: page; page rework; timeline]
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... through it all, what little I've been able to practice (maybe alot to some) ... what works best for me, and I qualify as for myself, since, this may not be what's optimal for any and everyone (I am not an instructor nor am I a formally [university lettered] trained musician, and, my skill level[s] is skant) ...
(1) the better the quality of the resource (books, CDs, DVDs, etc[?])
-- sort of read as variety though there likely are better and worse sources at times (I think this note on variety may need emphasis as well, even if the material is similar, it is not only something new and fresh, one gains from cross reference of different perspectives and there is an increased interest level with the new material while solidifying the information from previous resource [though this tack may be overly scholastic for the practice styles of some people, maybe most, unsure])
-- depending on ones skill level, the methods may be better for isolating specific skills (this point may need to be emphasized, as, these skills singly may be easier to master for placing back together again, than tryin' to go directly into the workings of a band sound that is already fully developed, knowing and finding the skills to arrive at better reading and interpreting those more advanced compositions may be a question [what single skills?])
-- realizing what it is you want to draw from and being able to hone in on resource specific to that task is likely important (besides methods, are you inspired by and maybe want to go beyond the sounds of some bands especially [Guitar Tablature])
(2) the quality of the time
-- not only as number of hours but consistency with follow-up to reinforce the learning and keep the ball steadily rollling; that is, progressing in skill level
-- focused and low distraction study space (telepathy, channeling, surveillance / observation [satellite direct with technology 21st century], what within reason is keeping the study broken down / up) ... learning the instrument is one task, learning to perform with the instrument is another, should that be qualified with, 'for some of us,' or is that fairly generalizable (I maybe catch that for some there may be some sort of interchange with an audience that may enhance the learning process) ... ?
... to guess that music is not magic (save yourself some frustration if you've been illusioned, don't expect you got to be a magician to be a musician, may be really slow goin' at times, but, on to last sentence this paragraph), that is, in order to play it really well, maybe even to make it look like magic, one has to work very hard at it (p.s. careful grading the barre finger in on high action acoustic steel strings, may place a stress on the finger that is problematic), (unless, in a realistic world where there are 'monkey wrenches' sometimes, someone[s] are trying to short circuit your progress; not the world I'm from, I've seen worse, have noticed toilet paper in trees in front yards before, I don't know if that's togetherness helpin' out for some people or what) ... it's a job just like any other, as stated (implied) in the quality time and resource (regarding practice of the instrument itself and not performance of the instrument for audiences), I have found that the more I can afford* to put into it, the more I get out of it (in terms of meaningful value with the practice for myself, personal enrichment) ...
... that's about all of it for now, I guess, I still haven't gone back over all the notes to piece something better together ...
... as opened and to reiterate, these are some of the points for how study/practice works best for me personally (a novice and being debilitated with mental duress in my life for some two decades, study is far from what it used to be for me, came much more naturally before the duress), I don't know if these thoughts on guitar study will work for just anyone (for my part and what I've written here hopefully not unreasonably violating any real code of literary or musical formality, you are welcomed to the thoughts for pondering and/or incorporating into your own practice) ...
note: I do not know if my runnung resource citations list should be placed here as my own study continues or if that would be better and fitting for a more polished & finished product of prose[?] ...
*likely another essay entirely on how one does afford the time and resource for serious study, I honestly don't know from experience, the best I saw it some sort of workable in a real work-a-week world was to try and have a job that I could work my practice schedule into (after the breakdown already) ... maybe some people got rich relatives could support or float a loan ... maybe some are more physically mature at a prime age for makin' some good money at hard labor (oil wells, construction sites, factory work, etc) for awhile (recall the 'enlistment' approach for set terms agreement as bartering chip [as open, honest, direct communication], if they can trust you'll be there long enough to make it worth their while in training you it may be in your favor as hirable potential [not something I was aware of when I was out there, thus, unsure if helps]) in order to afford takin' equal time off for study ... I did get G.I. Bill from Military service but I don't know how many that wouldn't suit; and, you gotta do someone else's program, I suppose, to utilize the benefit (maybe along with that 'cultural diversity' and 'personal enrichment' of college some have clues as to another way with the G.I. Bill [like how one may can write their own program somehow for independent study], but I'm still in the dark as that might go and mine's all spent now) ... I have the 'luxury' these past years of being debilitated and having my time for myself (though nowdays I have an unplanned family of sorts [some 3 dozen domestic felines, everyone of 'em a good cat] and there is required time with them, although they are each and every one well worth the time we need together, that time does additionally limit me in my studies and practice of guitar) ... how else one affords time and resource for guitar study, I don't know, man ... (win the lottery, but the standard gambling rule there is 'don't spend more than you can afford to lose,' [ya wonder why the commission leaves that part in as many words out when they say 'play responsibly'], sometimes easier said than done [at least with paper & pencil for practice play money; many books available on the open market here in the United States on How to Gamble {better}]; and, not intended by me to be generalized out of context of lottery mentioned in this sentence)
-- how do you know if it's what you want to do ... ? ... the way it happened for me wasn't right, I was broken down, looked to be with intent, and, due to that I have to (had to) say stop, time out, and, evaluate myself, what was life about, I still hadn't arrived at guitar at that point as what is one of the most important things, it was up there but it hadn't been realized that it is what it is for me more specific ... I mean, like it took gettin' broken down even worse, that still ain't right, for me to see that guitar for me is one of the greatest pleasures in life, not to confuse that with that it's one of the easiest things to do, because it isn't, nor that I'm even any serious kind of good at it, but, it is that big a pleasure ... I had to realize it, I've been beaten really bad mentally and I have had to find the things in life that bring me the most pleasure in order to cope and feel some kind of good with the day in and day out of how I am bombarded with the duress of the condition I am subjected to for some two decades now ... I would hope that no one else has to go through it this way, if I've learned something that could be passed on to other people, that is, without the duress I have, it is to try and find that thing or things, whatever it is, if it's ideas or people or tasks (standard book you read in that area but I don't know if citation is okay) ... find what it is that you really enjoy, what makes you feel good, interal / external locus of control is part of that ... oh, man, this ain't the book and I'm gonna hafta edit all this and write it out someday if I get the chance ... maybe some peole don't want other people to find what it is that makes 'em tick because they're afraid people in general ain't got enough self control to tackle both that and what it takes to arrive at affording to do it ... ? ...
... is it the case that we humans, maybe culture specific, are so wrapped up in it (in the our worlds are a rat race) that we don't consciously realize we got a thing(s) inside us somewhere (however you got the 'scratches of the surface' of those high school or college assessment inventory things) ... not everyone, maybe it's a generation thing, as, if I had it now to pass on to future generations within the sphere of my realization as it likely happens in other spheres that I was outside of for whatever reasons that I was broken down (repeatedly) to see it first hand instead (which didn't have to happen) ... ? ...
page last revised: Wednesday, Sept 11, 2024
page created: Thursday, July 18, 2013
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Guitar
PAGE REWORK
... alone, in the privacy of my home, at my own pace with the time I need for it, in my own way and from resource I selected myself ...
"...alone..."... aspiring solo* artist* (recorded amped distorted), excess* of physical trespass* (a line crossed at times is 'trespass', I use the word in context extremely understating) & perceived* of home has me mentally bound to it, senility? ... lots of vocabulary missing, unsure if abstract expression as not aleatory but compound meter & not ascribing to key structure (reference for huge inspiration on request, unsure if's to list exactly) 2024.09.05r_0618a
"...privacy of my home..." I find that practice at night helps to nearer manage the stress, unsure what it's like for others to practice ... openly, it's as though it is telepathically monitored, I imagine since as far back as violin practice in junior high school ... hyper-critical, intrusive, distracting, loads of stress ... hard to tell openly 'cause the practice itself is as fun as it is, not without its tedium, but, overall, in itself ... fear? worry? 'it ain't for you' kinda rap? (approximated lifetime accumulated study & practice guitar itself around 8,000 clock hours) 2024.09.05r_0615a
"...at my own pace with the time I need for it, in my own way and from resource I selected myself..." arrived at a Process (as during 4th practice project [as yet incomplete as heart attack hit some 250 hours before wrapped up, cored immediately after hit, has sat since] ... unsure reality of, (Process) felt as though 'light years' beyond previous color (as 'gold', token economy, personal) of previous practice projects (4h [Fab Dorseys, film]; 50:1 sketch to core chops [guest article in a book, different art form]; 2,000 clock hours [caption of photo in a magazine; then, 40h x 50wk=...] ...) as is, probably doesn't look formally trained "musician", because, it isn't; but, again, with 'token economy' & sought result personally ... the 4h is half time, takes two full years to complete one project ... the reason for the four hours, I found, it allowed me to take my time at it, have plenty of variety for both main drive (genre) and elective like venturing out, plus, study besides hands on training; while (big while) not having to feel frustrated at lack of, or slow, progress, that is, the four hours of bulk, even at takin' my time and in my own way, allowed it, as best I can suppose, to feel like it progressed well, too ... 2024.09.11w_1007a
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... through it all, what little I've been able to practice (maybe alot to some) ... what works best for me, and I qualify as for myself, since, this may not be what's optimal for any and everyone (I am not an instructor nor am I a formally [university lettered] trained musician, and, my skill level[s] is skant) ...
... likely extremely lite to others (I imagine there ought be people able to work work at it for 8 hours a day and even bigger, and,, likely for a lifetime ... I wouldn't have wanted 'sell my soul' for it, I need me time, I enjoy it, but, turnin' it into work makes it work, not chill/me time ... still ...) ... (there may be redundancy all in this stuff at this stage of hammerin' it out, don't burden yourself with it if it's [messin' with tryin' to comprehend what I'm jabberin' about] too big a drag for you, maybe someday, maybe your grandchildren, great grandchildren ... maybe it'll be like a real book someday, maybe library fare relating style; though, more concise and comprehensive, as I'm sayin' about stage of process ... ... redundancy disclaimor placed ... ... my practice as a practice began, not the first I ever touched nor owned a guitar and picked a little ... took it on as a practice with the How to Play Guitar $6.95 from the bookstore at the mall, 20 minutes a day ... the newspaper article, besides the book itself I guess ... says spend 20 minutes for yourself, it doesn't say at least, at most ... psychology 101 in junior college, glass half empty, glass half full sorta people ... ... the practice grew and grew ... How to took on a Folk Book from a music shop, 88 tunes, fake sheets ... unsure if I ... I must not have tried for catalogues from the distrubuters that early on, that was later, I did recall the Complete Classical that a brother had, found another copy of it ... bought a really small Complete Blues Method ... ... years I spent on these four books ...
**** The Folk Melodies with Chord Changes ... you (?) (I) found that the melody line isn't always incorporated in the chord for the bar(s) ... what I didn't realize as well at the time is that when that happens and you're learnin' to harmonize with the chord, creating a new chord sometimes ... it's maybe like super charging the training your ear is getting, no longer simply singing along with the chord but having to work the new interval into it and create something different ... ... I don't know ... hold on, there's more to the story (with the Classical method especially), I'm outta time for now though (off schedule havin' to field truck deliveries) ... ... ... 2024.09.18w_1424p...
(1) the better the quality of the resource (books, CDs, DVDs, etc[?])
-- sort of read as variety though there likely are better and worse sources at times (I think this note on variety may need emphasis as well, even if the material is similar, it is not only something new and fresh, one gains from cross reference of different perspectives and there is an increased interest level with the new material while solidifying the information from previous resource [though this tack may be overly scholastic for the practice styles of some people, maybe most, unsure])
SSPG? (self guided, self paced) ... punctuation at 'though'; plus, not just 'sorta', variety ... um ... I can't practice for now, tryin' to reflect back where it arrived ... man, that whole line after the '(1)' needs to be nixed ... maybe I'm just feelin' nostalgic in the moment, I miss practice ... again with redundancy potential:
- turnin' it into work, maybe makes it not as chill time classed stuff later on
- blues 'crossroads', luthier (arm & leg) vs. lucifer (soul), note bent blue, fretboard action, bones, truss, frets
- I guess it was just like, 'practice and there must be something magical supposed to happen' (classcl,folk,blues)
... 'well, whatta ya like to listen to' ... I found may can be a clue, maybe not necessarily
... some of what I do especially enjoy listening to I didn't exactly get into as learn to practice as other
... some fun to practice I may not exactly would want to listen to alot of (bi-manual dexterity 'gymnastics')
... is it three things?
(1) whatta ya like to listen to?
(2) whatta ya like to practice?
& for some(?) (3) whatta ya enjoy performing
... and, are the three independent of one another?
'overly scholastic'? uh ... maybe I meant it's something you learn at school and some may not like school much, but, ... maybe the word was 'academic', idunno ... looks stupid now, the word scholastic, maybe sounded like a big word at the time ... the idea was, if the word didn't say it, yadda yadda yadda as just noted ... prevents burnout? 2024.09.27f_1748p...
-- depending on ones skill level, the methods may be better for isolating specific skills (this point may need to be emphasized, as, these skills singly may be easier to master for placing back together again, than tryin' to go directly into the workings of a band sound that is already fully developed, knowing and finding the skills to arrive at better reading and interpreting those more advanced compositions may be a question [what single skills?])
-- realizing what it is you want to draw from and being able to hone in on resource specific to that task is likely important (besides methods, are you inspired by and maybe want to go beyond the sounds of some bands especially [Guitar Tablature])
... unsure if there may be question(s) of professional** ethics, territorial, stalking, um ... what it feels like when the neighbor three blocks away wipes their butt ... ? ... that is, telepathy? focal point? intent as? satellite directed focal? conjectured agenda?
I note 'redundancy, redundancy' potential, to say, I don't deal with readin' over all this stuff at once myself ... this sitting, for example, I am just pullin' this one set of ideas out (these two sorta paragraphs in black font above this immediate blue text) ... I just look over the black and if my mind goes somewhere for blue I'll type it out ... for now ... reminds me sorta of drawing 101 (elective in college) ... charcoal and erasers ... huge mess all over the floor, self, idunno where all ... ... ink' on the paper for now, organizing and erasers, that sorta stuff later on in the process
-- found that a curious note about specific skills being targeted in the methods, been years since I've been able to practice any kind of decent consistent ('decent' as four hours per day, five days per week, week in and out year round; realized, if am recallin' correct, last time I typed, like last Friday, I mentioned 'missing practice' ... that was, missing four hour project time practice ... for now, though not consistently, I get 20m/day and am doin' something different with it than the 20m/d that began it all back around 1991 ... (maybe more on what more specific with the N20 later on) ... ... for now ... the exercise (like cardio exercises for the heart condition re-routing) ... the single fractures detuned off the solid20s really bad ... ... anyway, long story short about exercise, sorta shorter story ... I have fract20 x 3 every other day, and (big 'and'), I've found that the time I was chillin' with film (entire process of checkin' program guide for preliminary selecting, previewing, final selections to view view, some logging, all that time scattered here & there ... may make my four hour clock again once exercise has been set at every other day, alternates heavier cooking food days with exercise & bathing days ... may push 6fract on the sleep, unsure ... about to try what may have clustered back into a four hour schedule, not with guitar itself just yet (the camper is a pigsty and'll take lots of organize & rearrange that I will not be able to manage mental too quick too soon, gradually ... but, the music listening (caps on the M & L; plus to note from last time about 'experience' base that way when it comes to considering music ... what all I didn't know about, what all I hadn't listened to ... part of the process of having arrived at ... well of arriving nearer and nearer a clearer and clearer objective, set of objectives ... the more time on task, the better & wider ranging the awareness of what there is to select from ... journey vs. destination, in it's way; still, although it may not be exactly this or that as clearest idea of exactly what it wants to arrive at, it's like, over-all, the objective has taken on alot of form that it did not have in the earliest years of the practice ... ... ... back to opening notes this time about professional ethic ... man, I bought that folk book in some of my earliest days of practice as a practice and pulled the address out for the publisher and wrote to them asking if I could play the songs in the book ... ... please ... ...
...
I wonder (rhetorical? not expecting reply, of course) is anyone else especially inspired by the biographies of some of the painters from history, inspired as relating and encouraged by their stories, at least as they're depicted in film?
Van Gogh & "...<art in Paris>..." letter to his brother (movie: Lust for Life)
PIcasso & evolution of individual style, from where he'd began (NTGEO Genius Series)
Pollock & evolution of individual style, " " " (film Pollock)
Michelangelo & Working Process (film: The Agony and the Ecstasy)
... while at once it feels like one doesn't want to compare oneself to the best, it also feels like they (the stories of them) were relating what it is like to merely be human, and on that count, how's not to compare oneself ... ... unless in a situation too oppressive to be able to wrangle* the time to get at it, caste class? approval/acceptance? ... I was workin' part time and practicing, I don't know if the practice would have grown the way it has, but, through it all, I can no longer consider doin' both, and, my practice is my practice ... it is mine, not for someone else, still ... I may over qualify it by sayin' not for someone else, because, I need that kind of room/space to approach it in my own way, ya know? I mean, it's not like I wouldn't want someone else to enjoy it if their may be joy in it for others eventually, the opposite even; but, to be expected for it to necessarily do that is too much for me.
...
2024.10.01t_1743p...
(2) the quality of the time
-- not only as number of hours but consistency with follow-up to reinforce the learning and keep the ball steadily rollling; that is, progressing in skill level
-- focused and low distraction study space (telepathy, channeling, surveillance / observation [satellite direct with technology 21st century], what within reason is keeping the study broken down / up) ... learning the instrument is one task, learning to perform with the instrument is another, should that be qualified with, 'for some of us,' or is that fairly generalizable (I maybe catch that for some there may be some sort of interchange with an audience that may enhance the learning process) ... ?
... there was afterthought* on rework from last week, and, something happens in the time between besides
-- 'analysis' on the painters bios as inspirational ... wonder if, in relative terms, as compared to frontline performers, painting, at least in impression in my mind, is less out in the open (not the paintings themselves necessarily, but) ... and, since I expect to create in my own space, in the privacy of my home, more like a painter maybe?
-- the N20m has it's place outside of the 4h, okay, that's nicer ... then there's this blog, that's an additional 20m ... then, I'm wonderin', "well, if I could wrangle another 20m on top of those (the 4h is sub/side and fairly solid for over one week's worth of weekdays so far - albums on internet, aimin' for another hundred lot listen & write up ... has me feelin' like I'm 'chompin' at the bit' or something not practicin' right now, too) ... ... N20m, 20m blog, 20m's ... for ... what one folk tune would I want to try and play ... not perform ... play ... (idunno if it's I'm captured by crazy people that have beaten me with something like collective focus observation that have a serious damper on any performance as an idea or what ... unsure, more recent years, if the cats when they pride, wonder if they collective a focus as well, our household together, the cats & I, not exactly if at all a problem there, best I'm aware, the other though) ... ... ... those 20's ... could they be the key to building the 6, maybe even 8h? ... could I gradually, over years & years of doin' it, build another side of the day's clock in 20s ,,, again, over time ... ... ... ? ... (and, thing is, so slowly and subtle that maybe I could keep all I do, basically as is, not so's I'd notice any change that is)
-- (paragraph in black) focused & on task, quality ... looked back up a paragraph, already said it ... it's all likely to find better ways of articulating if it were to ever become like a real book sorta thing though ... I'd want it look more like a book than a buncha confusion, jumbled up, unorganized, funny ways it comes out in words for me
-- the listening project? the chompin' at the bit? ... it's like there's inspiration after inspiration in ways to express (within genre and stylistic even) ... still, it's a wonder if there may be good zen or something in holdin' the bit through the hundred ... my* fourth project felt lightyears ahead of color I was gettin' for third, have two more scheduled before I expect myself to want to think about copyright ... that fourth one I was finding both (edit band name*) and (edit genre*) ... ... listening and listening to other music ... that kind included though tryin' to shop a different band every time, each album, this is maybe my third hundred lot, just beginnin' this one, maybe quarter way into it ... oh yeah, other thought in the while (everybody else may be goin' to hell in a bucket, but at least I'm enjoyin' the ride)? ... ... ... what will it perculate like, gettin' to have access to many sounds, like how will fifth differ from fourth (4th didn't really wrap up entirely, the heart attack was before and just as I was about to core it, as best I recall, I muddled through the coring after the attack, have the process roughs, it's only a practice project, not that good, still, relative to others before it, and, for what I'm (journey, destination) aimin' for (as I find better and better what that is as I continue to learn more about where in world of music I may be finding myself) ... gotta go, overtime again (*conversationalQ)
2024.10.09w_1730p... (unedited) ... George
... to guess that music is not magic (save yourself some frustration if you've been illusioned, don't expect you got to be a magician to be a musician, may be really slow goin' at times, but, on to last sentence this paragraph), that is, in order to play it really well, maybe even to make it look like magic, one has to work very hard at it (p.s. careful grading the barre finger in on high action acoustic steel strings, may place a stress on the finger that is problematic), (unless, in a realistic world where there are 'monkey wrenches' sometimes, someone[s] are trying to short circuit your progress; not the world I'm from, I've seen worse, have noticed toilet paper in trees in front yards before, I don't know if that's togetherness helpin' out for some people or what) ... it's a job just like any other, as stated (implied) in the quality time and resource (regarding practice of the instrument itself and not performance of the instrument for audiences), I have found that the more I can afford* to put into it, the more I get out of it (in terms of meaningful value with the practice for myself, personal enrichment) ...
... says I to myself ... I can't say that music may not be magic for someone else ... what I've found for myself, for how I enjoy spendin' time with it -- when I can structure the schedule for how I enjoy it -- is ... ... ... bull_, again, I say that with no better awareness than what I've found for myself ... what "one" has to do, I don't know ... ... ... that barre finger issue I found out about squishy balls, idunno what all other kinds of hand exercisers there may be, but ... these balls ... fun from fun idunno, still, some kinda fun, at least ... there're like a dozen exercises that come on the card with the balls ... oh, yeah, they don't exactly give 'em away, of course ... the black one was the hardest to find at the time, the blue didn't look to be around when I was shoppin' for the yellow & red ... then there's the green one ... squishy is the first one, after that, up to the black one, progressively less & less squishy ... the instructions don't exactly say, I made a game up out of it for myself ... I've recently just started back on 'em again ... 1m (after the heart attack in 2018, I'd never talked with anyone about what the recovery would be like, still haven't ... what I found was, after that initial hard attack, it was real easy to resizzle the thing while tryin' to get the exercise back up to where it'd been, too quick ... slowly, very slowly, over about the first two years with the condition, I learned to take baby steps and make them count, that is to count the baby steps and slowly build ... when I finally realized the bottom that it had hit, I don't know what it may exactly take, but ... what I did, after 2-4 resizzles and months & months of frustration at it ... I walked how many steps you can count in like 5-10 seconds of a minute, and, I gradually, over months and months, built on that ... ... ... the squishy balls may need to go even slower for some than a full one minute beginning)
"a job like any other" idunno ... I hate work work, always have ... playin' guitar in my own space, in my own way, at my own pace, in my own time ... ain't really like any other work I've ever done ... it seems to have crazy people loaded with it draggin' it down, but, the practice itself, as best I can focus on it and suppose that is what it is ... I imagine better activity type stuff, but, as best I've found so far, and, how much can search without findin' something that feels right enough ('relationships' aside; I guess, I never found anything in anything like 'em that feels anything like playin' guitar the way I do when I can have the time to do it) ... ... beeper's beepin', gotta go ...
2024.10.15t_1718p...(unedited/unproofed), George
... that's about all of it for now, I guess, I still haven't gone back over all the notes to piece something better together ...
... as opened and to reiterate, these are some of the points for how study/practice works best for me personally (a novice and being debilitated with mental duress in my life for some two decades, study is far from what it used to be for me, came much more naturally before the duress), I don't know if these thoughts on guitar study will work for just anyone (for my part and what I've written here hopefully not unreasonably violating any real code of literary or musical formality, you are welcomed to the thoughts for pondering and/or incorporating into your own practice) ...
... qualify that "study is far from what it used to be for me" ... I wasn't brought up practicing a musical instrument, the 'study' referred to was other stuff, basic school stuff ... some of that not as natural as other ... I don't know if I was exactly precocious (personally I'd maybe even wonder about the possibility of some sort of prodigious, one doesn't want to venture it as a guess I suppose, but) ... mathematically ... not like a calculator, just maybe quicker than rather quick at pickin' it up kinda thing ... no kind of brought up on grammer, it was a serious weak point in the first semesters of junior college, and, I still haven't exactly done anything to better minimize the deficite there ... seems especially complicated/complex grammer compared to math, math a lot dryer ... music (not as lyric, but)
--
... tryin' to read over the paragraph above though there was drift*(?) this afternoon just before sitting about a search ... well about the topic of the search a few weeks ago ... the wonder at what is typical for beginning guitar students to study (I began to wonder this time, today, how much of what I found as search result, & given what it's been like for me, as compared notes ... what could I recall to piece together and place in writing)
--
I guess it was placed the way it was to be interpreted in multiple directions on purpose, you know, the opening to the one chapter (conversing) in the How to Practice (compare at How to Play Guitar) ... the chapter 11 opening note that reads (maybe paraphrased), "...art begins with imitation and ends with innovation..." ... I found the surface of it especially inspiring ... ... ... then, there was the movie in a double feature this past weekend ... ya wonder how much ... well ... look at maybe E.A. Poe or Lewis Carroll(sp) ... how much of what they did was lack of access and tryin' to approximate what it may could be like ... ... I don't know how much of 'turnin' on' to the heavier drugs comes from like the idea that the liberty bone (in that, as the following) is connected to your 'full time' work bone (60-80h/wk), but ... ... I found out without realizing that's what I was learning from it, as pubescent, that I need a lot more time to chill and destress than that kind of rigour(sp) affords ... then the California trip, then the college reentry in '94 to wrap the degress up ... (as though bein' non-combat G.I. Bill was license to be better 'understanding') ... ... to the point I don't work, haven't for decades ... ... ... innovation may be relative to how fully functioning a person is, and, I wonder how many 'doors' need to be unlocked for that to look really nice ... I plan to try and follow through on the process I've found, but, I don't expect it'll approximate what the best do ... I imagine if they're really good, they not only get a jump on it in home life, they likely unlock the doors too ... ? ... I was lucky(?) enough to've seen some 'small doors', a couple of really fun seasons in the first few years after high school, 'bout all though, I still get to touch a little of somethin' now & then these days, but, the body gets weaker & ya wonder what may could be too heavy for it. 2024.10.21m_1500p (unedited)
note: I do not know if my runnung resource citations list should be placed here as my own study continues or if that would be better and fitting for a more polished & finished product of prose[?] ...
... feels too inhibited to not feel at liberty to talk openly, direct on topic ... I guess I realize well enough that in personal conversation I might possibly not want to mention names exactly as relate situations and my own experience of the situations, thoughts, emotions ... I noted a band name in this rewrite already, I don't know if that ain't cool, I don't know those people, I don't know if there may be crazy people policing some sort of underground effect that some may have an agenda for (on copyrighted available on an open market sorts of stuff) ... ... thing is, that sound, the idea of it, was like at a critical juncture for me in my practice ... I found out about (edit band name*) ... maybe, not too long before then, both of 'em within what, the last decade, thereabouts ... ... anyway ... I can't exactly cite when what happened ... what I found, around the time I'm findin' out about (edit band name*), unsure how long after, I'm findin' out about (edit genre*) ... (topic content in lyric, idunno) ... what I guess I'd already realized & then recently relearned ... well, I guess realized about the same but then recent days there's the wonder if some of what I found in chop process roughs that appealed to me with near completed Project IV ... ... you know the British Invasion era tune, the one that goes something like 'you gotta hide your love away' ... ... voldemort or whatever ... sidetracked mind ... maybe grossly ignorant of me to write this openly, the (edit genre*) like ... well, some of it, covers up the core of the aesthetic of the heavier drive of the music, like the chord rhythm drive, obvious I guess ... I don't understand why it's done that way ... ... the combination of (edit band name*) and that side of that other music is like the hugest for what seems to have influenced the sounds I wanted to hear for IV ... ... ... ... it's been a long 6.5 years mostly away from practice, sputtering tryin' to get back on track, 'water in the gas tank' (condensation, sat too long) ... ... I don't know if that hearing the crate 10 brother used to have is goin' to be a solid direction, what I do know is that it felt good the last I was able to be consistent at it ... I don't know how caracature my rendition (for the Practice Project) may be, as a Practice Project I don't expect it to be too far along ... and, if I've written once ... ... the color, for direction sought, anything like direction sought, flew light years nearer with that last ... ... ... the (edit: online music service) 100 albums, the emersion(sp) ... with that volume/number of albums ... over and over ... yep, nope ... I like that sound, that one, nah ... ... do people that seriously come by a sound have that kind of process goin' into how their 'vocabulary' for articulating is formed? volume, huge numbers? Age we live in and something like (edit: online music service) , is it intended to some kind of try and Equalize Deficiency some of us have in terms of that kind of access to that many kinds of sounds in music? 2024.10.29t_1649p... (unproofed, unedited) George
*likely another essay entirely on how one does afford the time and resource for serious study, I honestly don't know from experience, the best I saw it some sort of workable in a real work-a-week world was to try and have a job that I could work my practice schedule into (after the breakdown already) ... maybe some people got rich relatives could support or float a loan ... maybe some are more physically mature at a prime age for makin' some good money at hard labor (oil wells, construction sites, factory work, etc) for awhile (recall the 'enlistment' approach for set terms agreement as bartering chip [as open, honest, direct communication], if they can trust you'll be there long enough to make it worth their while in training you it may be in your favor as hirable potential [not something I was aware of when I was out there, thus, unsure if helps]) in order to afford takin' equal time off for study ... I did get G.I. Bill from Military service but I don't know how many that wouldn't suit; and, you gotta do someone else's program, I suppose, to utilize the benefit (maybe along with that 'cultural diversity' and 'personal enrichment' of college some have clues as to another way with the G.I. Bill [like how one may can write their own program somehow for independent study], but I'm still in the dark as that might go and mine's all spent now) ... I have the 'luxury' these past years of being debilitated and having my time for myself (though nowdays I have an unplanned family of sorts [some 3 dozen domestic felines, everyone of 'em a good cat] and there is required time with them, although they are each and every one well worth the time we need together, that time does additionally limit me in my studies and practice of guitar) ... how else one affords time and resource for guitar study, I don't know, man ... (win the lottery, but the standard gambling rule there is 'don't spend more than you can afford to lose,' [ya wonder why the commission leaves that part in as many words out when they say 'play responsibly'], sometimes easier said than done [at least with paper & pencil for practice play money; many books available on the open market here in the United States on How to Gamble {better}]; and, not intended by me to be generalized out of context of lottery mentioned in this sentence)
run on paragraph? ... break at first ellipsis* ... even after no longer tasked with work work ... part of nature of the situation/condition, why it isn't work any longer, too much struggle juggle to try and knock a dent in the stress with sleep rattled all to hell ... ... not having it to know then, I don't know if I could have maintained the part time sorts of work, if not taken out from it, and still have shifted into a four hour per day practice ... ... the four hours came years later ... um ... I haven't looked back at old schedules to see if I could sort out more precisely what year, post milleneum easily ... for sure the last project wrapped up that way, Project III was an averaging task with what I was approximating to have been the lifetime accumulated ... that is, to average the 2 grand per project ... ... ... I don't recall specifically, sorta timeline like elaborated break in topic, what year it was, I imagine it was around junior high when mom had the piano, unsure if it was out at the country house way early on ... we lived out at that place from my mid first grade until mid third, then moved back out there mid sixth grade elementary (6 of 6), and stayed for the first half of seventh, first year of junior high school ... ... the piano bench had some books in it, hymnal or two, at least one book on likely adult learning to play sorta thing ... to say, it wasn't like we were totally starved, but ... they weren't like beads and long hair jimi hendrix albums and things ... there was mother earth news magazine, home canning and pieced together rugs in some floors from carpet place dumpsters, like samples & scraps ... wood burning stove, free range chickens and ducks, goats milk fresh ... it was an era, but, not like hippies and maybe half dozen albums tops, some gospel, some country, some christmas ... roughly that, like 2 each, not much ever listened to ... ... mom tells (more recent decades) of how she used to have radio in her mom & dad's house, Louisiana Hayride, sounds like as we had some basic cable in mid 70s in our mom & dad's house ... ... ... ... quick notes today, always gotta go go go 2024.11.04m_1613p... (not re-read, edited) George
G.I. Bill
... the factories wouldn't hire me (prob'ly mentioned that already), maybe as much a time in life as my size, young, small dude ... and, although 'in theory' one might could get a good payin'* (relative to where some of us are from) job in a factory, good enough pay to save some money for 2-4 years ... I was maybe too young to see well enough past the theory to the reality of what it may more likely have needed ... ... I graduated high school, hadn't any been talked with about 'workin' ... I'd worked full time the summer between 10th & 11th grades, at the same school we'd move back to the town of in mid Junior year ... I sacked groceries for enough money to buy gas, pay liability insurance on the car and hang out some, during first half of junior year of high school ... ... between 7th & 8th grade I threw a bicycle newspaper route, 2-days on weekdays (unsure if that was Saturday too), Sunday's was monster, you may've never heard about the pouches for throwin' a paper from a bicycle ... front & back ... idunno if woulda been impossible to reach the back ones, but ... by the time you get done with the ones in the front ... ... hauled some hay with an older cousin that could drive, I guess that was just before movin' back to town and the paper route ... ... ... after high school ... mom & step dad, with brothers, moved ... I tagged along ... directionless ... as I wasn't taught not to be (maybe watch the double negative there) ... that first summer was the beginning of, in practical terms, at that point, no more school to look forward to, to anticipate, however mixed the sentiment may be, if mixed, I did good, bought like A's mostly, kinda naturally, not alot of worry with it, though, there was work ethic involved and it wasn't so much like genius easy as time kinda spent on task quick enough ... ... hot tarred a rough with a crew into the summer, landed the job at the hardware store, full time, 'bout the next length of a school term/year, 'bout 9 months of something like 8-10h days, m-f ... ... ... ... bailed and partied summer of '85, nearest death happened, maternal grandpa, first semester junior college fall '85, army mid winter first months of '86 ... just took that out and looked at it yesterday ... I'd worked the kind of hours that I found were a nightmare ... had one of the two best partyin' seasons of my life ... had* one of the closest deaths in the family that I'd known, and even known since ... went to a junior college (found how compared to compulsory school years) ... and ... oh yeah, lost a job at a convenience store around the same time as beginnin' the junior college ... they made it sound decent enough, asked me to resign (another kinda long story) ... ... then two years of regular fulltime army (peace time, non-combat, the disability later in life ... is ... another long story) 2024.11.20w (unedited, standard disclaimor)
'cultural diversity'
unsure exactly why I hi-lited this term; in the moment now though, there are/were, to my mind, some decent glimpses, what I saw of it ... you get instructors that are sometimes from around the world, other students you see some mix of
'personal enrichment'
this one I'm imagining must be treated by somebody like something caste/class, something like that ... it's as though I've been captured by some crazy people, direct correlate w/re-entry to college in '94, summer ... the California trip was '89-'90 ... ... as though the degree was about 'nothing but work' I imagine, conjecture motive though ... I wrapped the degree up December of '96 (B.A.), that'd been around 2.5 years at the University, all before then had been Junior Colleges or Community College ... ... after the 2.5 years I was guessin' maybe it was due to the University and if I just took it easy for a few weeks maybe it'd right itself ... continued ... found part time temporary work to manage food & my side of rent & utilities ... 4 years from re-up, still goin' ... quit and went in to talk with SSA about SSDI, had heard about it during the 15 months of workin' p/t ... 2024.11.26t_1427p (unedited)
'luxury' these past years of being debilitated
... no idea what direction life may've taken were it not for the 'program' (whatever it is) ... biggest question being would the 2 hours have grown anyway if it hadn't been disrupted ... and ... how far along would it have gone ... "spilt milk,"* idunno, a wonder ...
2024.12.04w-a
some 3 dozen domestic felines
... have learned to co-exist rather well with the cats, have tried to be as supportive of how they wanted to do their own thing as I could/can ... they enjoy a pride and place a stop on their own population growth, they find a number* that works well for them, as a comforatably large family ... dynamics of how they function together seems different somewhat than the impression I was holding from wildlife documentaries, unsure if a subtle difference, perspective, not exactly wild setting ... ... ...
2024.12.04w-b
time and resource for guitar study
... you hear along the way that you gotta make it your priority ... there's the article that says give yourself 20 minutes each day ... ... ... there was a drift of some sort at the university that <sleep isn't a priority> ... indirect versus direct object ... making something/anything "the" priority, compared to "a" priority ... as the totality compared to something like 'this side of my life is important, too' ... ... best I recall the 20 minutes a day article was in an old days newspaper (haven't seen one in awhile, though, the grocery ads for nearby stores as still routinely in the mailbox, I imagine the newsprint has the papers out there for some still) ... the article was neutral on the point of 'at least' compared to 'at most', about the twenty minutes ... I didn't catch that at first, I just processed it as I saw it in the moment, wound up a springboard ... years later I realize it could be seen the other way and wonder at the first semester psychology in junior college, the thing about whether a person is a 'glass half empty' or 'glass half full' sort of person ... ... ... maybe's to debate, but, where I'm from my time has always been my own, not like I was told that in as many words, just the effect of the upbringing (culture, home, idunno) ... ...
I started with 20 minutes a day. I found I enjoyed the practice, the practice gradually grew. At that point, the work I maintained for money was around 30-35 hours per week, it was temporary/part time, didn't pay alot, enough. I took the job home some, stress, not too bad, I didn't like the work, still, it was fair enough exchange for the money, did better than simply tread for bills, put some back in those 3 some odd years that added to the G.I. Bill for school in '94.
I kept the practice at 2 hours per day while goin' to school full time. Brother'd told me, we talked on phone some, he was workin' out west, coast state ... he told me one of the first cousins had said that if a person could practice for 2 hours per day for 2 days they'd be one of the best ... ... ... um ... ... I don't know about that extreme a claim ... what I did find was that part about my ear for chords ... not realizing it was fleeting and'd be lost if not maintained.
Lay an album off on you? Should I hold for the bulk and lay it all on you at once ... for the list at least ... then try and explain one at a time? ... ... ... it may take my lifetime to talk through it all, is the thing ... the blog time is one thing for me, the practice project time has it's own clock, the practice project being the priority, the blog an aside ... it is fun, but, not the priority for me. Most weeks I only get the one alt6-20, odd weeks, so far, a couple of 'em. Again, the alt6-20 is my 'talking guitar' 2 hours per day, and the alt8-20 is the 'repertoire' block (2 hours per day, fantasy ... the reality on both is like I'm sayin', mostly 20 minutes, that's really 20-30 minutes, each, per week)
anyway ... gotta go for now, time's up & then some
2024.12.20f_1215p... George
standard gambling rule
-- how do you know if it's what you want to do ... ? ... the way it happened for me wasn't right, I was broken down, looked to be with intent, and, due to that I have to (had to) say stop, time out, and, evaluate myself, what was life about, I still hadn't arrived at guitar at that point as what is one of the most important things, it was up there but it hadn't been realized that it is what it is for me more specific ... I mean, like it took gettin' broken down even worse, that still ain't right, for me to see that guitar for me is one of the greatest pleasures in life, not to confuse that with that it's one of the easiest things to do, because it isn't, nor that I'm even any serious kind of good at it, but, it is that big a pleasure ... I had to realize it, I've been beaten really bad mentally and I have had to find the things in life that bring me the most pleasure in order to cope and feel some kind of good with the day in and day out of how I am bombarded with the duress of the condition I am subjected to for some two decades now ... I would hope that no one else has to go through it this way, if I've learned something that could be passed on to other people, that is, without the duress I have, it is to try and find that thing or things, whatever it is, if it's ideas or people or tasks (standard book you read in that area but I don't know if citation is okay) ... find what it is that you really enjoy, what makes you feel good, interal / external locus of control is part of that ... oh, man, this ain't the book and I'm gonna hafta edit all this and write it out someday if I get the chance ... maybe some peole don't want other people to find what it is that makes 'em tick because they're afraid people in general ain't got enough self control to tackle both that and what it takes to arrive at affording to do it ... ? ...
... is it the case that we humans, maybe culture specific, are so wrapped up in it (in the our worlds are a rat race) that we don't consciously realize we got a thing(s) inside us somewhere (however you got the 'scratches of the surface' of those high school or college assessment inventory things) ... not everyone, maybe it's a generation thing, as, if I had it now to pass on to future generations within the sphere of my realization as it likely happens in other spheres that I was outside of for whatever reasons that I was broken down (repeatedly) to see it first hand instead (which didn't have to happen) ... ? ...
page rework last revised: Monday, Jan 13, 2025
page rework created: Thursday, Sept 5, 2024
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